thanks to blogspot.

yea. thanks to blogspot. i think this is the period of my life i 'recorded' the most. i blog down stuffs. my emotions. my happenings. my thinkings..... some random photos to reinforce everything.

guess i have something to reflect on maybe a few years down the road.

2005 is a really important year to me. guess i made the most friends in this year. i got to know various groups of friend from.....

1To8- my CJC first 3 months class.
CJC guitar club.
1T04- my CJC 2nd intake class.
T108- my ngee ann poly mass comm class.
Bottle Tree village- my workmates.

all these sources contribute to maybe around 100 new friends. some of which though we only know each other for a few months. but. i know. we will continue to be friends for a long time to come....

to all my friends. good luck to you all.!!!!

graduation dinner.

yea. came across this pic when i was browsing randomly at friendster. got it at liang yang's place. this is a picture of my graduation dinner. yea. guys' grad dinner are really different from girl's huh~.? no fancy clothing. no fancy make-up. only threads of unbreakable friendship.

i haven seen my catholic high friends for really a damn long time. everyone seem to be really busy with his or her (gays) life. hm. hope we can have a gathering this december holiday with majority of the people turning up. good luck all.!

1T04 rocks~.!

blee's messenger nick kept saying racial harmony day was a bang. yea. no doubt it was. just look at the photo. at least half the class in donning in traditional costumes. yea. this is my class for 5 days before i decided to give up my place and transfer to mass comm.

no regrets however. my current class T108 rocks equally too.!

Happy birthday Melvin...!!!

yea. we went out last fri on mel's birthday. it was more like a gathering. think they already got a really really fun suprise celebration for mel in school eaplier in the day. it's always so fun and nice to meet up with 1T04er's. though i dont talk much but i do enjoy gathering with them. talking random shit and snapping random photos. really look forward to the next meet-up.!

watch this.!

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=meet_your_meat&Player=qt&speed=_med

i was badly disturbed after watching this video. everyone ought to watch it.

i dont know which one would leave a deeper impression on you. but. the one on the cow really freaked me out. they actually cut the bull's balls. cut off their horn using a big sissors.... label them.... bloody hell.....

mad cow disease. bird flu.... i think we all deserve to die of these disease.!!

the loser whom is still bloody asleep.

deep in slumber..........!!!!

the guy on the right is steve vai.

hey dude. i am going to show you the 'real thing' if you dont wake up soon.

p.s. fuck that extra ang moh guy whom is showing me the 'real thing'.

he is awake.!

wah............! (roar) i am awake.........!!!! i wanna thank god...!!!

nice weather. nice to sleep.

the weather had been super nice for the past one week. cooling~ the perfect temperature. i haven been complaining of myself 'melting' for quite some time already. i love these kinda weather. its just pure nice to sleep in this kinda weather.

i feel like a pig when i sleep too much. i feel like a loser when i wake up after 11pm. i dont feel good at all when i sleep too much. in fact i feel even more tired when i sleep pass the required amount of hours. each of us only require 8 hours of sleep everyday. but how much do i sleep every weekend.? about 10 hours.....?

yea. my mum dont like the idea of sleeping too much. i dont like it either. almost half the day is gone when you wake up at 11pm. what a sin.! the time can certainly be put to better use. like have a nice breakfast with the family. or even watch cartoons with your siblings.

but. come to think of it. i feel like i am sleeping every moment in my life now.... what's the purpose of blogging in the library now.? what's the purpose of attending school today.? what's the purpose of opening my eyes and facing the world today.?

i may have opened my eyes this morning. i may be awake. but.... in actually fact... i am still in my slumber. i will never wake up from it. till i find the purpose in my life. the reason why i am in this world....its scary.... but i am not alone. majority of the people are still in their slumber too...

so. who are those people whom are awake.? example......

steve vai is awake.. he know he is put in this world to play the guitar. he is doing it now. he is awake.

ronaldinho is awake. he is created to play sambal soccer. he is doing it now. he is awake....

yea. these are two examples to name. i am not feeling depressed or kinda stuff. but. i really hope to be able to wake up from this slumber soon. but. as for now. i will continue with my dream. continue to face everyday in reality. but. i know its all but a dream. my life will only truely being the day i wake up....

what's in the future....?

ah toon defined love for me....

maybe god truly understand and know how much i have been missing ah toon this half a year plus after my mum stop babystitting her.

i saw ah toon on the train last saturday. i really couldnt believe it. it was pure luck. i dont usually board the train at that place. i boarded there only because i was in a hurry and the train has arrived already. ah toon was with her two brothers and her mum. i cant describle how i felt when i saw her. i only know that i wanna give her a big hug and carry her...

but. she was shy to let me carry her. i can fully understand that. but i am still damn happy. i know she still got an idea who i am. she asked me where my sis is.. kinda stuffs. so i know. and i gave her a hug at the end of her ride.

she sad thing is i noticed them only at yio chu kang station and they had to alight at ang mio kio. so. actually. i only managed to catch up with my dearest ah toon for less than 3 minutes. but. i was truly happy to see her.

she has grown quite abit. cute no more describles her now. she is really like a little princess now. with long hair. big eyes. kinda stuffs... my ah toon is beautiful. ah toon is the girl that defines love for me. i know i love ah toon. truly love her. in fact. i think. the girl in my life that i feel the same as i feel for ah toon would be the girl i am looking for.

happy to see ah toon. happy to see that everything is well for her. happy to know that she has learned how to speak more now. no words can describle my feelings. i am damn touched.... *sniff*... i feel like tearing....

gotta get back to my stuffs.... oh yea. ah toon's birthday is coming. its the 10th of oct. she will be turning 3 years old in no time. i wanna get her something. any suggestions.? i am thinking of getting her a bicycle. those cute cute 4 wheels type.

i am happy. damn bloody happy to see ah toon.

play pool.

today was simply pool day. i had two session of pool game with my classmate today. which was fun.

a couple of friends really suprised me today. they really improved alot. pool is fun to play. but it can also be damn frustrating at times. i would say it depend abit on luck for me. poking the balls in are fun. but. we cant neglect other factors.

1. super-duber chio bu.
chio bu that can really play pool are pure sexy. i met one today. super chio long legged chio bu that can play pool well.

2. super-duber scandalous pool. (exclusively at lucky plaza)
this is when you see 40+ year old man playing pool with maids. wah... can be damn disgusting sometimes. the maid is also old.... you see the man hugging the maid from behind trying to teach her how to cue... yucks. but its only exclusively at lucky plaza la.

3. super-duber pool expert.
its pure ecstatic to watch pool expert play. my deepest impression was this two uncle playing at paradize. they were playing billard in fact. omg. they were really damn good. i wish one of the uncle is my grandpa. (he is that old) imagine saying to your friend....

when he or she is lousy- "oh my god. my grandpa can play better than you la. whahaha."
when you are lousy- " i dare you to wait here. i am getting my grandpa."

wah... freaking cool~ man.

of course there are also turn off at pool place.

1. big group of girls that cannot play at all. but. playing at one table. they go "OH MY GOD...." they scream abit sometimes. they squeak abit sometimes. to conclude. they attract all the attention. to tell everyone they cannot play.

2. when the ball i am trying to put in the hole ends up out of the table bouncing and rolling~ on the floor. its simply embrassing....

3. act pro characters are also big turn off. they bring all their gear. gloves. their own cue stick. their own chalk.... but. judging from the way they play. think they should get their own table.

anyway. i believe pool is a game of concentration and momentum ultimately. i would say at least 70% of the people that play pool around are of the about the same level. of course there are people that are clearly better. clearly at a higher level. other than that. most of the games are win-able. just need to concentrate. and abit of luck. or rather. no bad luck.

think i will be poking more balls tomorrow. hope i will improve...!!

i am really enJoYing my holiday doing....

shit man. i am really enjoying my holiday. i am like doing whatever i feel like everyday. damn shiok man....!!

i went to city hall with yongxin last sunday to look at some guitar stuffs. i think he expect me to blog something about the outing. so here i am.

ahem~ yongxin is damn nice la. he took out precious time to accompany me to guitar heaven in search of a amplifier. even if it mean he can use the time to study more. apparently. i pissed him off 10 times that day. but. i think he is cool~ with it la. thanks alot president. i will get that amp soon. if you are going again. remember to jio me along.

*************************

half of the class went to daniel's house yesterday after lecture. it was fun. he was a absolutely great host. thanks alot daniel. we had a nice chat and this is what i have to understood.

do not ever spend too much time questioning life. in fact. do not spend any time questioning life. the time wasted is simply not worth it. life itself is a noun un-define-able. why worry about tomorrow.? do your part well today and god will provide you a good tomorrow. after all. today is the tomorrow you were worrying about yesterday. (from.... somewhere...)

*************************

i borrowed several DVDs home from daniel so i was watching DVDs for the whole of today.

i watched Lord of the Rings. the two towers.
i never get sick at lord of the rings. i have watched it numberous times already. and everytime is a new mind blowing experience. the intensity. passion. effects....~ of the whole movie is awesome. Orlando Bloom is damn nice looking i must say.

i watched New Police Story by Jackie Chan.
i remember myself getting very excited by the trailer last year. i love this kinda story line. the kinda hero to zero story line. one can see that the effects are expensive to create. but it just doesnt blow my mind off. haiz. i think asian movies production really got lots to catch up with in term of good effects. Jackie Chan is really ageing i must say.

i watched Shall we Dance.?
oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. jeniffer lopez is mind blowing gorgeous. she is beautiful. she is a great dancer. i love watching her. i have no regrets doing anything to dance with her.

Shall we dance...?~

i watched Unleased.
FUCK those yankees. they made my idol a dog. i dont think i wanna finish watching the movie afterwards. its damn lousy.

think i will watch Japanese Story now....

whahaha.. i managed to find a picture.

alot of people got no idea what marine fish tank i am talking about. they also think its kinda funny of me to notice the fish tank. well. i managed to find a picture to explain itself. guess where its taken from.?

i found this picture at the NKF website la. think they are damn proud of it. the picture is abit small. but. the magnifience is still there.

enjoy the tank. everyone....

NKF....

(taken from Lianhe Zaobao, 15/7/05)

i admit i got no balls. i dont dare to blog too much regarding this incident. i am worried i would get sued. ( durai is damn efficient when it comes to protecting himself. ) i have never been a fan of any cartoon. a-ni-me. kinda stuffs. but i love political cartoons. they are just capable of giving you the insights from the simplest way. i really think that this is a great cartoon. perfect.

actually. i have heard rumours years ago that NKF uses a large part of the funds they raised to do stuffs that are unrelated to patients. and i believe them to a certain extent.

1. i am always pissed off when i see the numberous magnificent marine fish tank in one of the NKF dialysis centre. this is obviously a waste of funds. they claim the fish tank's job to beautify the surrounding and provide a comfortable environment for the patients as each dialysis session takes a few hours.

eh. many of these patients are struggling with their daily spendings. they are struggling with their life. you think they give a damn if you bulid a under-water world there.? they are just concerned about finishing there dialysis quickly and carrying on with their life. i am not suprised if these fish tanks chalk up a considerable amount of expenses over the years as marine fish tanks are really expensive to maintain. i am sure donors donated money to help needy patients. not to build nice fish tanks. i am sure they would rather the money subsidise the needy more.

2. i heard that NKF is very strict when it comes to funding 'needy' people. though they subsidise. patients still need to pay a part of the whole dialysis fees. i am not sure how it is calculated. but i think some patients still need to pay 200 bucks ++ every month.

*this is what i heard*: if a patient cant fork out the money. they will be deprived of their dialysis session. so if the patient only got 190 bucks. he or she will be deprived of dialysis till the money is there. *this is what i heard*

************************************

its amazing how humans love their toilet so much. i figured out that rich people like to make nice toilets. maybe its because we spend a considerable amount of time in the toilet.

1. U.S soldiers found gold plated 'toilet utensils' in saddam hussien's private toilet. e.g. toliet bowl. sink. TAP~.....

2. the U.S army high rank yankess are also said to build expensive toilets for their private use.

3. one of my rich friend. he got 7 rooms in his house. each room got one private toilet. and his mum was asking us to take a look at her private toilet.

"eh. come. come. come. look at my toliet. very nice one. i design myself one. this bathtub ar.... i order from italy.this sink ar.............~~~~"

4. and now we got durai. whom initally thought that a 1000 buck tap is nOt VeRy ExPeNsIve....~

***********************************

i got an idea for NKF to keep donors that donate regularly through GIRO. (too much people are cancelling their GIRO donation. this is bad news for all the patients.) i suggest they study the possibility of the 'adopt a patient method.' like how some people adopt children in third world country. yea. let the GIRO funds go straight to the patients. let donors how which patient they are helping exactly. let the patient know who are helping them exactly. this method works vice versa.

wah.... i am so smart......(i just wonder if you guys know what i am talking about.)

***********************************

lets all not lose faith in NKF. it would really be a pity if this organisation's structure goes down the drain overnight. there is no doubt that they have done a great job over the years in the kinda stuffs they are doing. hope the new board will do a great job in restoring confidence in the people. Good Luck man.

the brand.

yea. it's an Ibanez guitar. amazing great deal for a starter i would say. the guitar only cost me 200 bucks and it comes with a bag too. i am lucky.... anyway. Ibanez is an awesome brand. steve vai. joe satraiani uses Ibanez.

a closer look on stevie's signature....

well. actually the signature is of no meaning to me. i mean. i didnt get it myself. so.... i dont know how to say. but. it certainly serves as a good motivation.

woohoo....

my 4th guitar. my 1st electric guitar. with steve vai's signature on it.!!!!!!!!!

one more girlfriend to add....

yea. i blogged about getting an electric guitar yesterday. the time now is 5pm. i will be leaving home in another hour time to go to tt guy house again.( the guy in the left.) yea. i went to his house yesterday. he is selling me the guitar he is holding in the picture. think i didnt mention yesterday.

THE GUITAR I AM BUYING GOT STEVE VAI'S SIGNATURE ON IT.

oh my god.... i got myself an electric guitar with steve vai's signature on it. and this picture proves it to be real. i am such a lucky guy la. i will post pic of the guitar with the signature later. yea... i got one more girlfriend....

my first electric guitar.

i got myself an electric guitar today. i dealed with a stranger. i met this guy on yahoo auction selling his Ibanez guitar. i contacted him and went over to his house today to strike the deal.

thx to jiahong and karen for accompanying me.

i think its a good deal. i managed to bargain from 280 bucks to 200 bucks. i feel damn proud of myself. actually. i got no idea why... but i dun seem to feel excited over this deal. hm. but i am sure i will achieve something with this guitar. i haven got it yet as i did not bring enough money today. i will post pics of it tomorrow.

jiahong is right. i need to learn need songs. i feel like a loser when i pick up the guitar. i am always playing the same old tune.

damn loser la.... but nvm. hope the electric guitar will bring me to a new level.

*************************************

to all those JC friends that are struggling. buck up. and most importantly. dun ever give up. you guys still got 4 months to 'chiong'. dun ever allow yourself to get retained. no matter what. its really not worth it to spend one more year. i know the mid years results might be bloody de-moralising. but what is over is over. there is still chance for the final term examz. go everyone.

*************************************

jeffery. if you are reading this. i hope you are o.k. its really disturbing to read your thinkings. i think it has already reach the beyond healthy stage already. contact me if you need help but its really up to you to sort out your thinkings. seriously.

*************************************

i seriously think that my father is quite a loser. i dun even have the courage to put down the stuffs here like what lucas did on his blog. he is just a disappointment to me.... but i cant deny the fact that he is a good father at times. but... as i grow up. i learn. i absorb. i realise he is a loser.... i hate it.....

*************************************

i realise my tone and attitude was a little too aggressive during my last entry. but. i must say everything i wrote about are facts. so. censor off all the F-words and digress the post again. actually. i am very happy at my work place most of the time. the people there are damn nice. we are like one big family. (majority of the people working there are gyus around my age.) but. it just take one nasty customer to spoil your whole day.

i am enjoying my holiday... woohoo...

so what if you are spending the money.?

a big FUCK to those people that think they are great just because they are spending the money.

FUCK you....!

some patrons are really hell to handle. they got the most requests. they take waiters for granted. they complain alot. they approach you in the most unfriendly way.

they think they are only customers at the place.
they think they are great just because they are the customers.
they think they are queen just because they are spending.

yea. QUEEN. because strange enough. these group of fucked-up customers are always female. and i am not referring to fussy aunties. here. i am referring to pretty tai-tai. maybe 30+ years old. yea. some are really pretty. the kind which i think i will want them as wife in future.

but. they got an evil heart. if you think looks are important. think again. but. i must say i have yet to pass the see 'beyond the skin stage' yet...

***************************

there is this 'magical' piece of cloth at my work place. i call it the muti-purpose cloth.

it is used to clean the table after the patrons leave. (clear up all the disgusting stuffs on the table)
it is used to wipe the chair...etc...

someone raise his hand... " eh. xiao di ar. this cup is dirty. can you change it for me.? "

"sure boss... just a minute"

well. the 'magical' cloth will service the dirty cup readily.

so next time you think the utensils are dirty. clean it yourself.

**********************

well. actually it makes no difference. i am always wondering why all the utensils still feel oily when they are supposed to be already 'washed'...

**********************

its amazing what some of the patrons ORDER us to do...

" eh. what is that fan turing faster. and this one above me slower.? (celing fan) can you up the speed.? "

FUCK you la.

" eh. shell my prawns for me."

FUCK you la. you want me to eat it for you.?

" eh. why is my fish so small.? its not even enough to go around."

FUCK you la. your table got 12 fat ass. of course the fish is not enough for you aLL.

................... fuck off all................

***********************

i love people who pack their left over food home. i think this is something absolutely great to do. its much much better than to feed the bin.

***********************

something sad is... there is no tipping culture in singapore. it would be great if we have it like some 'ang moh' country.

1. people like me will certainly be more motivated to work. (with a fucked-up smile that is absolutely fake.)

2. patrons thus get more quality service.

************************

some people are very scared of steamboat. they really shun their body 45 degree away when i serve the steamboat. my advice is. if you are scared of being scalded by the steamboat. you can always order something els....

or simply FUCK off.....

***********************

k. enough about my new job. time for a bit of school work. i got back my second assessed speech results on friday. i got a B+. again. and i am pure disappointed.

i think i got a B+ bacause i did a bad outline for my speech. i got a C for that component. i did o.k for the rest of the component. A for verbal delivery. A for non-verbal delivery. B for content.

i think the outline was the piece of paper i had to hand up to my tutor before my speech. its an outline of what i am going to say. yea. i fucked up that piece of paper. so i didnt get my A.

the ironic part is.... the speech is supposed to be an "impromptu" speech. why am i marked down for a piece of pre-prepared outline when the speech is suppose to be "impromptu" in the first place.?

fuck. i dont understand.

**********************

all the magnificent fish in my beautiful tank had died. the anemone fish got sucked into the filter.....

i really pity the anemone. it kinda got shredded...
i really pity all my fish. the water was milky by morning. so. they died of bad water. (imagine yourself dying due to bad air.... slowly....)
i really pity myself...... everything cost me money.

i know i shouldnt be talking about the money issue now. i know marine fish are heritage of mother earth. but. it really pains me to see my fish die. the most expensive fish which is also my favourite fish cost me 15 bucks. (refer to pic below)

sad.....

its later. time for sleep. i am fucking off.....

a picture speaks a thousand words.

yea. i am recycling this picture. i think this picture really sum up my feeling for the past few weeks. i am just not feeling well. i have been lying to myself. i kinda lost myself. i need to find the purpose again. i need a break.

ugly pics of me.

ugly me doing project with 2 other friends in the school's library today. i am damn screwed up coz i have yet to done my writt comm essay yet. but. nvm. i am going to really enjoy my 2 weeks after tomorrow. by the way. the girl in red is Crystal. the other girl is Eunice.

my favourite fish..

i am showing my friend how to load photos on blog without using stupid things like Hello and Photobucket. so. i decided to use this photo. this is my emperor fish. damn chio ar...

i am sorry.

i went back to guitar club at CJC today. i was kinda tired after a day of school so i think i appeared quite fucked-up. sorry guys. but i just aint feeling my best today.

*******************************

eh moppy. dont suan me like that la. i already got low self esteem. keep it a secret. dont tell anyone. cya nx week for guitar club. hope you can get elected for something.

*******************************

this week is considered to be week 7 of my school. i am going to get a 2 weeks break after this week. i REALLY look forward to. i am going to take the 2 weeks to recharge myself.

practice more on my guitar (hopefully i can improve).
work a few days more so i can get a guitar sooner.
sleep more. so i dun need to sleep on the bus.
maybe do some exercise.

and yea. most importantly. improve my english language.

******************************

i still got 2 more assignments to complete before i can conclude my week. i shall do a proper post few day later. take care all.!

i earned 30 bucks yesterday.

i am 30 bucks closer to my guitar.

i come from a humble. average family. its not that easy for them to give me $1500 out of the blue moon for me to buy my guitar stuffs. thus. in order to get two new guitar. one classical and one electric. i am working part time now.

yesterday was my first day of job. i am now working at a seaside restaurant. its somewhere near sembawang beach. the name is Bottletree village. i worked from 5pm to 11pm yesterday. they are paying me 5 bucks per hour. the job is certainly manageable. i guess the worst part is to clear up the table after the patrons leave. well. the job can get pretty dirty at times.

but i am not worried about the oily plates at all. not afraid of grabbing the used tissue paper. i am earning money with my own hands. i am damn proud of myself. i believe my grandpa will be proud of me too. i always remember something my primary 3 teacher once told the class.

" do not be afraid to get your hands dirty. you can always wash it afterwards."- mrs Wong.

i have no doubt the job will make me more mature as a person. as a boy. i used to buy all kinda stuffs without thinking at all. i can buy a fish for 15 bucks. however. it just die after 3 days. before yesterday it would simply mean i have 15 bucks lesser for the week. now. it implies 3 hours of hard work down the drain.

hm. i am working again later. after today. i would be another 30 bucks closer to my guitars.

i am reaching for the stars. i believe.

*********************************

went back to catholic high to watch the CH music award with val and nat last friday. the 8 bucks that each and everyone at the concert spent for the ticket was far more than worth it. we got a great performance. the best part was the rap perormance was two of my friends. ah seng and hum. wah... they are damn good la. the worst part was probably when the air-con broke down. but nvm. i think nat and val are still pretty impressed by my school.

i love catholic high. catholic high loves me.

*********************************

~~the same old JJ~~

my class.![one gal absent]

[photo taken from crystal's blog.(i think)] this is almost my whole class. one girl is absent. well. it was H-n-H day on friday. which stands for hats and heels. interesting ar...

the 7 guys in my class.

introducing the 7 guys in my class. from left to right. KL. lucas. russell. me.! danial. nat. joel.

JJ is a bloody introvert...

i am a introvert. i am a introvert that can be expressive when i want to. i have no idea who i am at certain times. there are times when i feel scared. insecure. paranoid. worried. uncertain.

about the future.
about what i want in life.
about what i want to get out of life.
about who am i exactly.

i lead a simple life. i lead no life... i am easily contented. yet i am ambitious. i have lots of contacts. but i have only that few close friends. yet. thes few close friends only know this certain amount of JJ. i am not the kind to share my problems.

even if i want to share. i cant. there are some situations in my life that doesnt allow me to share with anyone. there are certain secrets which life itself doesnt allow me to leak. there is one thing that i hate about myself. i dont trust anyone at all. no one can be trusted.

this person may be trustable for today. for this particular point of time. but who knows who he or she will become the next second.?

i realise even my mum doesnt understand me. my mum doesnt trust me enough. or issit just a clash of moral values between two generations.? or should i try to understand my mum more.? i dunno...

this world is fucking screwed-up. i need to find my role in this world.

yea... i believe in the god gave you this role to play kinda crap...

i haven been in a relationship before not because i am gay or wadever.... or more like because i cant imagine trusting some-one els with my emotions. i dont want to hide anything about myself from her. yet i am afraid to communicate with her.

but. i know i am not alone. i know that are tons of teens like me out there confused in this stage of life. i got no idea...

everything just comes out so naturally when i blog.

fuck grammar.
fuck language.
fuck you.

not happy.? click on next blog.

~~JJ is o.K~~

4 pictures sum up my education life.

4 pictures. 4 pictures sum up my education life.

one that show my primary school friends and my form teacher.
after which i carried on to catholic high school.
catholic junior college for my ultra fun 1st 3 months.
and finally... ending up in ngee ann polytechnic to do a mass communication course.

i have always hated the education system in singapore. i just dun see any point in jam-ing all the information in our brain and puking it out for the sake of handling examinations. if i start counting from primary 1. this would be my 10th year of education.

hm... what have i learnt.?

english.... but my grammar still sucks....
chinese.... but i still cant understand romance of the 3 kingdoms properly....
maths... but i drop A maths... what a loser...
science... but i dun seem to be able define anything accurately...

ar...... geography.... i got A1 for 'O' levels.... but.....haiz...i forgot all my geo shit after the day i finished the paper. hm.... i learnt nothing academically....

but. i learnt about life. certain events. certain stuffs affected me alot.

event 1:
my maths teacher. miss anita tan that used to teached me pass away when i was primary 4. i can still remember the whole scene that happened that day. the news spread that day that miss tan had fainted during a cca session. the ambulance came and miss tan was rushed to the hospital. i remember myself making a card for her to wish her get well soon.[really] but the card didnt manage to get her. she didnt even make it to the hospital. she died on the way to the hospital. she burst her brain's blood vessel.... i remember myself tearing immediately...

i thought i hated her... i have even cursed her before. but i realise i love her actually. she is a good teacher. i hope to see her again. i remember her lying in the coffin wearing her wedding gown.[she is getting married a few months later] she was beautiful. she was a great teacher. but i didnt cherish her. i am sorry. i love you miss tan. rest in peace.

event 2:
also related to maths. i dropped amaths when i was sec 3. this was the event that really shook my confidence. i really thought that i could no anything. but i just couldnt do amaths. i failed... and i failed... and i failed... i got 7/100 for final term. my self-esteem has never been so fucked-up before. i just cant do maths for nuts. actually. i have this dream... i hope i can pass 'O' level Amaths in this lifetime. or i think i will regret it....

event 3:
getting a A2 for my 'O' level chinese. i just cannot accept the fact that i got a A2. i remember myself crying at the stairs... shouting at my dad..

everything is a new beginning now. i am actually in class now. blogging while waiting for my turn to go for my impromtu speech. hope i will do well. god bless me. wish me good luck.!

pri sch photo....

i was so damn happy when i found this picture on weilin's friendster. this picture was taken last year during the december holiday. my form teacher is in the picture too. she was pregnant at that time. her child should be a couple of months now. hm. hope to see her again soon. i think our class is amazing. we have left chongfu for 4 full years already. yet. we are still able to organise a class gathering like this. i really cherish our relationship. good luck all.!