chang chang chang...

hi all, my 'business' in chiang mai is officially over! the closing ceremony that ended just 5 mins ago wrapped up the camp we organised for the kids. my departure filght is set to be 11am next tue. well... cya all soon!

woo...

nice food everyday...
nice drinks everyday...
nice sleep everyday...

if only i have all the baht in the world, i am a happy boy. =)

to my dear sis, can you leave a comment on my blog to acknowledge my post that everything is good for me?

i wonder how long my blog entry will be after i get my ass back to singapore.

everything cant be any better...

hey ah ger, tell mummy everything is good and well for me and i am loving it here. no worries, see you all in another 13 more days time. take care, i love you all! i am off to do my stuff. bye!

away for 2 weeks..

i am 90% done with my packing for the 2 weeks chiangmai trip. my bag is huge...

but i love my sexy red bag, its so fucking gorgeous. for those few souls that are reading my blog and not going for the chiangmai trip. i will be away from the 14-28 of march, the school has wonderfully 'selected' me for the chiangmai trip. =) actually, everyone whom signed up gets to go, but whatever.

no idea why, but i dont seem to feel excited about the trip at all. i guess the level of excitment is in ratio to the amount of responsibility we got to take charge of for this trip. the main task is to plan a 4 days camp for the chiangmai kids accompanied with other challenges such as equipping teachers there with some advanced IT skills.(though my main task is the outdoor games.) i would say this trip is more of a cultural/knowledge exchange expedition, but no doubt we are going to have a whole lot of fun as a team!

today will be the last day of work at bottletree village. hm... just decided to stop working, its a long story. think i will talk about it next time. i got to go, wish me good luck for the trip.

the negative element ...

i looked up at the night sky that night.
full attendance by a constellation of twinkle stars.
i looked up at the sky tonight..
nothing, are the stars gone?
no, they are always there, probably forever there..
merely covered by a mask of clouds.
actually, so what even if the sky is clear, how many times have i raised my head to count the stars?
but they are constantly watching me.
hey, its starry starry night...

ok, i went clubbing yesterday night at zouk. it was mambo night so people there were all dancing retro mambo moves, its interesting how those mambo people dance with such high level of synchronisation. (it was almost like a water ballet performance.) the night was fun, a big thanks goes out to jasmine and her uncle for the club entry and drinks.

i think occasional clubbing is good to relive one from the stress of life.

giving the body full permission to dance away to the music felt good...
feeling alittle high after some drink felt good...
trading retro mambo moves with friends felt good...
seeing everyone around enjoying themselves felt best... (its as though the world is sooo happy...and i guess that is the appeal of clubbing to me, the is no established reason to not join in the fun and music, in fact everything comes so naturally once you are in the environment.)


all right,mambo king may look like a totally sick pervert if you see him on the streets of orchard road, but he is the recognised king of mambo every wednesday night at zouk. that auntie yesterday may have grandchildren to look after back at home, but if she allows herself to let loose enough, i see no difference in her as compared to a 18 year-old teenager.

however, its just the night. fun doesnt last forever, worries in life will always be back to haunt once you wake yourself up from the retro. you are still the sick pervert people are talking about when you step out of zouk to the prata shop opposite it. the first priority in life for a grandma is probably to earn respect? maybe... or should fun be the pre-requisite in life, especially in the remaining golden years?

whatever it is, i am 18. lets dance away~

passion for life.

yeah, there will be a march holidays special going on at sweelee with a 35% off all acoustics guitars! =)

but... now i have to contemplate between buying a new acoustic guitar before the chiangmai trip OR getting a digital camera for the chiangmai trip. dont think i can get the best out of two worlds in this case here due to limited budget. =(

so, i am going to make a trip to sweelee tomorrow to get my facts right about the sale. think i am going for the acoustic guitar if the bargain is really good cause i am going to miss it by the time i get my ass back. and, i still believe in my VS2's ability to take amazing pictures. (with a right person like me.) i will be aiming for this baby this time. i just hope it's sound will be on par with it's appearance. playability is also a big issue here since my first acoustic guitar is capable of making me bleed as my fingers fret the strings. if you thinking i got many guitars at home, you are sooo wrong.

now i only have one TGM acoustic which i will probably sell to cash converters one day, and an electric guitar which i exchanged with my uncle to try out. i gave the classical guitar which i bought to a renci patient whom i was helping for my CATS project. he is bascially this guy whom loves the guitar. he was apparently a rock star and played the lead guitar in his band, but one day he figured out he can fly.... after taking drugs. so, the story is he got half-paralysed after 'flying' off the building and got admitted to renci hospital even since. its been almost 10 years and he never got the chance to touch a guitar ever since. i got so emo after hearing his story i decided to give one of my guitars to him immediately. i dare say the guitar gave him a second lease of life, i will always remember how he sung for us while strumming on the guitar. the guitar may only be one of my guitars... but to him, its probably his dearest for the rest of his life. anyway, i only got 2 guitars la...

every guitar tells a story, mostly a sad one. a typical one would be how the owner got interested in guitar playing for a couple of weeks and thus bought a new guitar with all the passion in the world; determined to command the guitar with frightening control like steve vai. but, 9 out of 10 would probably give up after some time because they cannot manage a simple chord progression properly.

for me, there are a couple of reasons why i want to learn the guitar.

1. i wish to learn some form of music.

2. someone once said that girls would like the ugliest musician...?!

3. i just love the art of this six-string instrument. its just so versatile; blues, jazz, rock, metal, pop, classical... you name it, it will probably play it. and shredding is one of the coolest shit ever, it just feels good to be able to sweep your fingers effortlessly across the fretboard. (with accuracy in tone)

basically, i just love the guitar and feel i will bad not playing it for even one day. yea, no doubt i am lousy but at least when people ask me questions like what is your passion in life? what is your hobby/interest. i can answer with confidence....


i like to play the guitar.

shoot, shag, marry.

sometimes, i cant help but to be disappointed in life. i cant help but compare with others what i have in life. but i am glad it only happen sometimes.~

i am extremely thankful for the good life god has blessed me with. i dare say i have met more personalities in my life as compared to the average 18 years old. people whom are really rich, poor. ( i aint comparing the 2 groups relatively here) some people whom have really sad stories in their life, some whom are really smart... the list goes on and on.

the singapore system is quite fucked-up in a way, in the sense that you are probably going to meet people of your 'kind'. for example, my secondary 1 class in catholic high school consisted of 13 year old boys with a PSLE aggregrate of 240-249. as you proceed up singapore's pyramid shape education system; that is based on merit. the person next to you PrObAbly share a relatively common background as you do. (social background, finaicial background. etc) even if the people are all rojak-up, people whom share common background are still probably going to form click and stick with each other.

basically, in singapore, merit/success (as defined by society) seem to be ranked first in our heirarchy of value. so, what are the implications?

so, people go...

eh, he is a doctor leh. eh, doctor leh....

well, doctor big shit ar? does the doctor know how to enjoy music? you dont even know what the doctor is thinking of when he is examining you..

fuck society's stereotypes.

damn it, i lost what i want to say in this post. my words are all wandering about now after talking to my mum.

anyway, my point is i have always been in the grey zone all my life. i am this guy whom is always neither here nor there. if you think you seen lots of stuff in your life... or more than me in life, think again.

angels with broken wings..

just when we were talking about ah toon, talking about cute little angels in our life. some 30 year old freaking fucker got to pop out in our 'peaceful' society and fucking hell murder his step-daughter?

because i am too angry... i have decided to quote an extract from a classic here, its from this blog http://syn-slynn.livejournal.com/ its basically shear's blog. ok, here it goes....

I HATE HIM PLEASE MAKE HIS BALLS ROT AND WHEN HE PEESPUS+BLOOD COMES OUTAND HE CANT CONTROL THE DURATION AND DIRECTION OF HIS PEEI HATE HIMGET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU IDIOTI WANT TO RUB BABY'S AND MY SHIT ON HIS FACEMAKE HIM SUCK IT ALL UPTHAT BASTARD WITH FOUR DADS GO BACK TO YOUR WORLD SHIT YOU DONT BELONG HERE

wah, nice one. i am going to be freaking pissed off if the murder doesnt get a death sentence. he ought to burn in fucking hell.

and to my dear girl, rest in peace.~

sexy red bag.

i guess we are different after all. the differences we share is probably on par with the passion i share for guitar. i know it makes no sense, but it just goes to show the freaking amount of differences. prehaps we should stop acting like bastard and bitch to each other, another we probably wouldnt be seeing each other at all in future. so, good luck to your future endeavours.

shopping with mum today made me a happy boy, i managed to buy this 50L bag for the thailand trip. yea, a big bag that is red in colour, i am loving it. i soo need money cause there will be a sales at sweelee next week, i guess its a good time to get a nice sounding acoustic. i think i have improved enough to deserve a decent acoustic.

tomorrow would be my 4th lesson with yongxin, he will be continuing on blues. i really need to get my fucked-up rhythm right, blues just doesnt work if the timing is wrong. ok, i am low on battery. gonna hit the bed so my head can be clear for the lesson early tomorrow morning.

i care for you.

i think there is this subdued side of me which i dont always show. but the fact is i sometimes pretty depressed by how some things in my life are. i think its really sad how my mum has gotten used to me not going home for dinner, staying home at other's place kinda stuff and even drinking occasionally. i love my mum, i wouldnt be who i am if not for her teachings. i wouldnt say that for my dad, not that he is bad or what. but i guess he just doesnt know how to express emotions and values to his kids.

its the holidays, i cant wait to find one day and bring ah toon out. she is young and innocent, i would love to teach her stuff. things that i know will be useful in her life, i feel sorry that she has to go through shit in her family. its not fair, but i guess she got no choice. mum says that whatever i do, she is still someone's els child. i always have this something for all kids, they are the only people i really trust to put my commit my love in.

i was walking home just now and i heard some really nice harmonica music. i got one lying in my drawer just that i got no idea how to play it. i will never forget that uncle that played the harmonica during orientation at ngee ann, i love people whom does things with lots of passion. there is one thing that i love and hate about myself; and that is winning has never been a issue for me. winning never bothered me as a kid and it still applies to me now.

its both good and bad i guess. i am always taught to try my best at home, winning is something i learnt in society. cross country was all about winning and nothing els, i guess this is the reason why i started to dislike it after a couple of years. i consider everyone single day in my life a win. no one can ever win another person in everything, i see no point in getting a win when i am losing more in fact sometimes.

i am off.